CATHOLIC AND BAALISTS TOGETHER: WALKING TOGETHER IN A MULTI-CULTURAL STREAM, SEARCHING FOR THE OCEAN OF JUSTICE.

Par. 1) Given the wounds of history, Catholics and Baal-worshipers have often misunderstood one another, leading to arguments, bad feelings, ritualistic cannabilism, and emotional trauma. It is hoped by taking this first step of mutual recognition of hurt, these two peoples of faith can journey upon the path to peace.

Par. 2) For their part, the Catholic Church agrees that due to the cultural mores of his time, Elijah caused much pain and distress to the priests of Baal on Mt. Carmel. Elijah ignored their historical claim to the site, interrupted their own religious rituals, engaged in a outdated triumphalistic apologetic, and even resorted to violence. For this we apologize.

Par. 3) The Catholic Church also acknowledges that it has been insensitive in its objections to the Baal practice of child sacrifice. Given the Jewish Law at the time, disobedient children could be liable to death, and since all teenagers are disobedient, the Baal practice could be considered pre-emptive zeal for the law. This issue will be explored during the Interfaith theological commission to be arranged at a later date.

Par. 4) The Catholic Church agrees that the dispersion of the Baal- worshipping people was a crime against humanity, and apologizes. Restoration of the Baal-worshippers to their historical land should be a goal of the international community, and monetary damages should be paid for emotional and physical stress suffered.

Par. 5) On their part, the Baal-worshippers understand that an effort is being made by the Catholic Church to make up for its crimes of the past, and the Baal-worshippers agree that grovelling is the proper course of action for the Catholic Church. It considers its first efforts of groveling to be a good first start, but only a start. Full grovelling should be accomplished immediately. If full grovelling is accomplished, the Baal-worshippers promise to consider holding a meeting to discuss the possibility at some much later date of forgiving the Catholic Church.

Par. 6) The Baal-worshippers also realize that it is not the fault of the Catholic Church if Catholic parents continue to complain about their children being sacrificed by the priests of Baal, since officials of the Catholic Church have encouraged the parents to think of the importance of Interfaith dialogue first. Yet the Baal- worshippers believe Church officials could be more proactive in the procurement of children for the fires.

Par. 7) The priests of Baal acknowledge they are not obliged to stop trying to stamp out the Christian heresy, and accept the Catholic Church’s promises that such an attitude in no way hinders the progress of Interfaith dialogue.

Par. 8) Hopefully, this first statement, which required both sides to examine themselves, will lead to even greater Interfaith encounters in the future.

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